Pregnancy is magical and life-changing, but it is also incredibly overwhelming. This is why we sing, “I get by with a little (or a lot) of help from my friends” (and partner and family).
While mum does all the work knitting a human together, your partner plays an equally important role. A strong support system benefits Mum and sets the stage for a healthy family dynamic. It’s a critical foundation.
Open Communication
Pregnancy isn’t always just nine months of glee and comes with an ever-changing array of emotions (you’ve gathered by now, we’re sure), but what aspect of life is all smooth sailing anyway? Your partner, yes, we’re talking to you if you’re reading this, is to create that safe haven where she can express her feelings without judgment. This includes active listening and validating her feelings. That acknowledgement, effort to understand, and validation of her feelings go a long way.
This is the time to pick up the discussion on expectations. Your partner can only understand what you need if you don’t discuss expectations. Furthermore, if your pregnant partner isn’t forthcoming, ask what she expects of you. The onus rests on both of you.
Whether deciding how to handle household responsibilities or discussing birth plans, being on the same page ensures that both partners feel heard and respected.
Physical and Emotional Presence
Being present goes beyond being around at home with an expecting partner. It includes prenatal appointments together, actively participating in birthing classes, and making a concerted effort to learn about the changes in your partner’s body. This can create a sense of shared responsibility. It also helps partners better understand the journey and how they can offer practical support.
Emotional support is vital. Pregnancy can bring unexpected challenges, and an empathetic and understanding partner makes a world of difference. The basics are really what she needs.
- Be patient with the mood swings.
- Be that shoulder to cry on Offer comfort those really difficult moments of fear and doubt.
- Take the initiative in small things like a date night or even planning a date with her girlfriends. Sometimes expecting mums can feel isolated or as though they don’t want to be a burden. Show her that she isn’t a burden to be around.
Sharing the Load: Practical Support
Everyday mundane tasks that seemed simple before, may become more difficult for the expecting mum This is where practical support becomes invaluable.
- Helping with household chores
- Running errands
- Cooking a meal, getting pre-cooked meals or picking up a meal from a friend.
Small acts of kindness, like giving a massage to ease aches and pains, show thoughtfulness and care.
It’s important to remember that pregnancy often comes with fatigue and discomfort. Offering to take over tasks or allowing the mother time to rest without guilt can greatly enhance her sense of well-being.
Creating a Supportive Birth Environment
Whether it’s advocating for your partner’s preferences in the delivery room, offering words of encouragement during labor, or simply being a calming presence, your partner’s role in supporting the birthing process is crucial.
Your partner needs to understand the birth plan (remember we said communication is key -we’ll just emphasise it once more and it’s your responsibility to tell them what you want and what you expect). Communicate whether you or not you want them to hold your hand, help you breathe through contractions, or be your voice in moments when she may not be able to speak up. Trust us, the entire process now becomes more manageable when you feel like you’re not alone.
Postpartum: Adjusting to Parenthood Together
All aspects of parenting will shift for the rest of your life, and it starts just after baby arrives. After the baby arrives, the dynamics shift yet again. The fourth trimester can be as overwhelming as pregnancy itself, especially for first time mums. There’s so much you’re just figuring out as you go along. This applies to you and your partner. So shift your expectations, especially in those first few months.
Supporting your partner during recoveryโboth physically and emotionallyโis essential. This can include helping with late-night feedings (yes we know you can’t breastfeed if that’s the choice, but you can change nappies and put baby back to sleep. Step in to sooth the baby, and be attentive.
To the partners, keep an eye out for postpartum depression – the changes are sudden and vast and trust your instinct and hers.
Long-term Support: Growing Together as Parents
As time goes on, maintaining a strong support system requires effort from both partners. Parenthood brings a new set of challenges, but when approached as a team, these challenges become more manageable.
This stage is about learning to co-parent effectively, balancing responsibilities, and ensuring that both partners have space for their own well-being. Setting aside time to check in with one another, sharing feelings, and offering mutual support helps keep the relationship strong as you grow into your roles as parents.
