By MamaMagic guest editor Cartier Lebatie
As someone who lives my life by a calendar, I gave myself specific deadlines regarding what I would achieve and when I would do it. My trusted structure has never let me down; it filtered into the age and time I would fall pregnant. Believe it or not, it even filtered into our baby’s gender, and of course, it was accurate and achieved in record time (I guess I’m driven by achievement). Until this exact point in my life, nothing has been derailed and went seamlessly according to plan… until it didn’t.
I’ve heard it before, and I know I will likely give the same advice to someone in the future. You can’t ever be fully prepared for the world of parenting.
Coming from a legal background and running several successful companies, I’m a firm believer in controlling the input to ensure the output. This has been applied to every life aspect and truly is a winning recipe (for me).
I am currently eight months pregnant with my first child, and if I’m entirely honest, I’m over pregnancy. I can tell you that all the planning and preparation have left me completely useless. My baby girl clearly doesn’t know who her mother is and has been testing the boundaries at every chance she’s gotten. Don’t believe me? Read on!
While I’ve been able to control everything controllable, for the first time, I feel wholly out of my depth. I’ve taken on some of the most formidable personalities in the boardroom. For the first time, I’ve found myself worrying about things that haven’t even happened or that are downright bizarre, like, “What about if my baby doesn’t like me;” “What if her clothes are too big and she drowns;” “What if she’s hungry and I forget to feed her.” It’s ridiculous putting it down on paper, but it’s my reality, and if my mother is right, worrying about your child is something I will do for the rest of my life. Babies should come with a warning label. “WARNING! When your own, you will worry about the strangest things.”
Many women speak about how beautiful pregnancy was for them and how they look forward to all the changes that come with motherhood, and if we’re being open and vulnerable with one another, I can’t relate. It’s a “no” from me! Don’t get me wrong, I cannot wait to meet my princess and am confident that I will be the most incredible mother to her, but it’s those “little bits” in between that is just not for me. By little bits, I mean the preggy brain (heaven help me) and the “kankles.” It’s the odd cravings and the inability to stand for longer than a few minutes without sitting down. Mamas out there: if no one told you yet, pregnancy is not for the faint-hearted.
I’m looking forward to meeting the most exceptional human being who will have the best traits from my husband and me (I hope you’re listening to me, gene pool). However, I would have been just as excited about her had a stork dropped her off at my doorstep and saved me from all the in-between bits that come with pregnancy.