Being a parent is a huge responsibility. It comes with stepping into multiple roles and, most notably, being intentional in what you say and do and how you react or respond. No manual can give you the A-Z of being an intentional parent. It starts with becoming self-aware and having clarity of purpose. Life, Wellness and Business Coach and Self Mastery Expert, Khadijah Mia, gives her input on intentional parenting.
Each person’s experience is unique to their circumstances, and our blueprint in our childhood experiences shapes our world model. This definitely rubs off and becomes our preferred parenting approach.
I only realised this responsibility’s magnitude when becoming a parent myself. The notion of being intentional needs continuous self-awareness.
When you are intentional, you focus on your strengths and identify and work on your areas of development. You also step out of your comfort zone and create meaningful change in your life by letting go of fear and any insecurities or negative experiences you may be carrying from your past.
Your energy rubs off on your kids, so you need to ground yourself and nurture your well-being. Pouring from an empty cup can deplete your energy and make you feel more agitated and stressed. This pressure and strain will not equip you to parent in a way that brings out the best version of yourself.
Being intentional requires you to spend quality time with your kids and learn more about your child’s love language. Each child is unique and has different needs and ways of feeling seen, heard and understood.
Relating to them in their world model and stepping into their shoes helps bridge the gap.
Celebrate little moments that bring great joy to your kids. You don’t have to spend vast amounts to please your kids. Simple things like taking a walk outdoors, playing board games or even baking in the kitchen can help you grow closer and create a more meaningful and profound connection with your child.
You regularly need to switch off from technology and social media as a parent, and your kids will mimic your behaviour, switching off from it too. Spending time in green spaces can be so therapeutic.
It is also vital to give your child freedom of expression while enabling them to set healthy boundaries. This gives them more self-confidence and boosts their self-esteem. Getting their opinion and making decisions gives them perspective and allows them to grow.
Being an intentional parent also requires you to give your child more responsibility. Children need to learn to make their beds for staters if they are old enough to do so or help with chores in the household. By developing skills, they tend to feel more accomplished.
Negative self-talk or using negative language can cripple a child’s spirit, so become more self-aware of the tone you set and how your child may follow your lead. Try to lead by example.
Equip your child with knowing that their best is good enough and try not to over-emphasise competition and perfection. Remind them that it’s progress rather than perfection.
Teach your child how to save money and create a culture of demonstrating good spending habits. Allow them to manage their own allowance when they are old enough and teach them about becoming business savvy.
Promote healthy eating and a balanced lifestyle approach. Exercise regularly with your kids and take them with you to the grocery store so that they can be a part of the shopping experience. Then, experiment with them in the kitchen and allow them to use their creative talents in preparing their favourite meals.
Broaden their horizon by taking them to a library and letting them experience the magic of reading books that can take them on amazing adventures.
Positively affirm and demonstrate love and affection to your kids. Words are powerful, and positive ones of praise and encouragement can undoubtedly boost their spirit. Yelling and using lousy language can only aggravate situations and teach kids to mirror negative behaviour.
Allow kids to feel and confront their emotions even if they may feel uneasy. Learning how to self-regulate helps them face their fears and develop resilience and courage.
Most importantly, create a spiritual anchor in the household and allow them to pray or meditate with you …
The list can go on when it comes to intentional parenting … there are so many approaches, and you won’t get it right all the time.
Learn as you develop, evolve and grow, and the next time your child does something wrong, please don’t yell, scream or punish … listen, reflect and connect. After all, their intention is to get your attention. Start by showing them pure and intentional love.
MD: Enigma Human Capital
Self Mastery Expert
Life, Wellness and Business Coach
Mobile: +27 828574446