The toddler years are filled with bouts of boundless energy, curious exploration, and toddler meltdowns (and yes, they should be since they don’t even understand what emotions are). It’s a time of immense development for your child, both physically and emotionally.ย
As Bruce Perry, Child Psychiatrist and Neurologist, reminds us, “The first years of life are the foundation for everything that comes after. By nurturing a child’s development in the early years, we are giving them the tools they need to reach their full potential.”
While all this development occurs, the most essential aspect is building a loving and unshakeable relationship with your little one.
Quality Time: The Cornerstone of Connection
This is the 21st century. Time is precious; carving out dedicated time for our toddlers can feel like a luxury. But here’s the secret โ quality doesn’t equate to quantity. Even short, focused periods of connection can make a big difference.
- Get Down to Their Level: Literally! Sit on the floor, make eye contact, and truly listen when they talk (or yell!). This shows you’re engaged and interested in their world.
- Follow Their Lead: Let your toddler take the initiative in playtime. Explore their interests, whether building towers with blocks or playing dress-up. This will give them a sense of autonomy and enable you to connect with their passions.
- Embrace the Simple Activities: You don’t need elaborate toys or outings. Reading books together or simply going for a walk can be powerful bonding experiences.
- Put Away Distractions: When you’re with your toddler, put down your phone and silence notifications. Please give them your undivided attention, showing them they’re your priority.
““The Power of Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is a parenting tool that goes a long way. Here’s how to use it effectively:
- Catch Them Being Good: Instead of focusing solely on correcting bad behaviour, acknowledge the good! “Wow, you shared your toy with your friend! That’s so kind!” This encourages positive behaviour and makes them feel good about themselves.
- Celebrate Milestones, Big and Small: Did they finally master putting on their shoes? Did they build their tallest tower yet? Celebrate these achievements as it encourages them to keep learning.
- Focus on Effort, Not Perfection: Learning is messy, especially for toddlers. Instead of getting frustrated with mistakes, praise their effort. “You’re working so hard on drawing that picture.โ
Understanding and Navigating Big Emotions
Toddlers are learning to manage their emotions, which can sometimes lead to meltdowns. Here’s how to navigate those stormy moments:
- Stay Calm: It’s easy to get flustered when your toddler is upset, but staying calm is critical. Your calmness will help soothe your child and create a safe space for them to express their feelings.
- Validate Their Emotions: Don’t dismiss their feelings with a simple “don’t cry.” Acknowledge their emotions and help them understand what they are feeling.
- Offer Comfort and Support: Sometimes, your child needs a hug or a gentle touch. The power of a hug, the warmth and comfort it brings, has calmed countless children throughout man’s history. Teach Coping Mechanisms: Once they’ve calmed down, help them identify their emotions and teach them healthy ways to express themselves.
Building a Relationship is a Two-Way Street
Remember, building a relationship is a two-way street.
- Be Patient: Toddlers are still learning how to communicate effectively. Be patient when they struggle to express themselves, and listen carefully to their nonverbal cues. This understanding and tolerance will strengthen your bond with them.
- Apologise When You’re Wrong (this is a big one): It’s okay to say sorry to your toddler. This shows them you’re human and teaches them the importance of taking responsibility.
- Learn Through Play: Playtime provides a window into your toddler’s world. Observe their interests and preferences during play. This can teach you a lot about them and strengthen your connection.
Building a solid relationship with your toddler takes time, effort, and a whole lot of love. But the rewards are immeasurable. A secure and loving bond will give them the confidence and emotional well-being they need for the rest of their lives..ย
