Body Positivity and Self Love is always number 1, but how do I remain โBody Positiveโ after such a drastic change has happened to it?
During my pregnancy, I felt the most beautiful than Iโve ever felt, my hair was flowy and healthy, I had a natural glow, with killer curves and just a little bump added to it. I loved being pregnant, mainly though, I think, I loved it because I had an excuse for the extra weight and this time it was seen as a healthy baby instead of a fat shame.
Time flew by, and just like that, 6 months ago I welcomed my daughter Milan into this world, my 1st born, my beautiful little girl.
I know itโs typical for influencers on IG to post when theyโre all made up with their โsnap backโ and while Iโm not bashing that, I think itโs important to talk about the stages of recovery so that we women know that itโs perfectly OK and normal for your body to not look like it used to immediately after birth. Hello, you just had a whole mini person inside your stomach for 9 months!
For some, you might still look a little preggies, stomach might be dark, skin loose, some new โtiger stripesโ might be added and depending on if you had a c section or not you may have a new scar under your panty line to remind you that are a strong woman for braving through major abdominal surgery to bring your baby into this world.
BUT, here we are, 6 Months Postpartum. And although I didnโt have the skinniest body before my pregnancy, lol, I still see a major difference and the scariest of it all? โฆ the โSnap Backโ didnโt happen.
Shouldnโt it have? I mean, Iโm able to eat regular foods again and exercise daily again. Iโm self-employed, working from home. It should be easy to Snap Back, right? Iโm supposed to be capable of doing everything the โSnap Backโ culture told me to.
What goes unnoticed in this culture is that Iโm doing everything right too, though, by honouring my body through this change every day. Iโm hydrating. Iโm checking in on my mental health. Iโm exercising while playing with Milan. Iโm taking her for walks. Cooking. Cleaning. Being a wife. Iโm fuelling myself for my body and to feed hers. Iโm letting my body do its thing. Like Iโve trusted it to her. Like Iโm indebted to her to do. Yet that isnโt seen as a Snap Back.
So whatโs the difference? Really?
Well, physically my body is deemed to appear to society as though it hasnโt snapped back, yet my version of it is making my body a performer. Building it to care for my daughter, spending time with her, getting in exercise here and there, although not enough for a full intense workout. My version of snap back serves me, my body and my baby. I am PRESENT.
Itโs exhausting feeling like youโre falling short. Itโs a time and energy drain to feel like you have to do more and be more, all the time. Itโs so much pressure to heal quick and make it look like nothing happened,
When life happened.
When I happened, and became a MOM.
Of course, there is a side of me that wishes it all just magically occurred and that 6 months later I would feel like it was all the same again. I wonโt lie about that. I am still a woman conditioned by decades of celebrating how quickly a woman transforms to fall in line.
As a mom itโs hard to feel like youโre doing a good job. Itโs thankless. Exhausting. Brings your love to the edges of itself and brings you to the edges of yourself.
So when you struggle with your body, itโs a familiar guilt. Not enough. Could be doing more.
I just need us all to remember itโs not our fault.
Weโre doing a really great job.
I assure you.
And I think thatโs something to celebrate.
Even if, 6 months later.
