If people told me what motherhood was like before I had my first child, I probably wouldn’t have believe them! Tarryn Jordaan writes about the things that affected her most.
Did you set new year’s resolutions? Did you stick to them? After my baby was born, I found it hard to stick to any commitment. From having coffee with a friend, to eating breakfast (yes, I set reminders to eat breakfast) and getting out to the gym, finding time to do anything for myself was near impossible.
I am a year into my motherhood journey and I wouldn’t change it for the world! It has been the most challenging yet wonderful year of my life. I’ve made mistakes, I’ve cried and I’ve laughed, but the memories and bond formed during these times have made it all worth it. There are, however, things that come with the journey of motherhood that no one told me. These are the four things that really took a toll on me:
1. Your body will never be the same
Yeah, you’re probably thinking that you’ve heard this one, and it is true. However, what isn’t mentioned is how your beautiful, firm breasts will change forever! Women experience this in different ways: some are affected during pregnancy, some are affected after birth and some are only affected after breastfeeding. Either way, they will never be the same, so don’t listen to that terrible lie: ‘breastfeeding will ruin your breasts’. Each woman is different.
2. Hair loss
I’m standing in the shower washing my hair, enjoying the ‘me time’ when I feel this sensation running down my legs. I glance down at the horrible thought that a huge spider just slid down my legs, but it’s worse: it’s a handful of hair! Three months postpartum I was convinced I was going to go bald at the rate that my hair was falling out! Once again, this is blamed on breastfeeding, however being me (over paranoid) I went to see doctors and did a stack of research, and it turns out that this is due to hormones and cannot be solely blamed on breastfeeding.
3. Mommy blues
No, it’s not just Mondays that are blue. There is actually a thing that happens postpartum called the mommy blues.
Four days after delivery, my emotions are sky high, I have zero appetite, I’m sitting on the couch, baby is fed and asleep and I’m bawling my eyes out because … Well I can’t tell you. I have no idea why I am crying! This, my friend, is mommy blues.
TIP: Google it! Watch out for postpartum depression because it can quickly lead to that and don’t be afraid to take the pills that the doctor prescribes to help with your mood!
4. Your relationship with your partner
You have just had a baby, so obviously your lifestyle is going to change, but you knew this when you fell pregnant, right? So why am I mentioning it here? Well let me paint a picture for you. You are both sleep deprived, worried about the unknown and overwhelmed by the responsibility of keeping this baby alive, so sex over sleep is seriously debatable, and you are no longer one another’s top priority. The reality of this is that it does put strain on a relationship. TIP: Communication is key!
Of course, my intention is not to scare you with motherhood. It’s one of the most precious gifts you will receive in your life, but there is a reality and it’s better to go into this with the ‘known’ instead of the ‘unknown’.
As for “New Year, New You”, I’m still working on gaining my pre-pregnancy body back, and it takes time. For some it is easy and I admire them, but there is always a secret not being told! It’s hard work, so this year, I’ve dedicated time for myself. Time to work on me and not lose myself in this amazing rollercoaster journey called motherhood.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
Tarryn Jordaan is mom to one-year-old old Josh. Learn more about her journey through motherhood here on her social media pages: littlejosh1.9